In a world overflowing with expectations, advice, and societal standards, it’s easy to get caught up in the question: Am I living my life the way I’m supposed to? This question can feel like a constant whisper—or a deafening shout—pushing you to conform to an invisible blueprint for success, happiness, or fulfillment.
But here’s the truth: There is no "right way" to live. Life is not a puzzle with one solution or a path with only one destination. Life is yours to create, and you hold the power to decide what is right for you.
The Myth of the "Right Way"
The idea that there’s a single “correct” way to live comes from a mix of cultural norms, family expectations, and societal messaging. We’re often bombarded with ideas about what our lives should look like:
You should have a stable job by a certain age.
You should get married, have children, and buy a house.
You should prioritize productivity and success over rest and joy.
These expectations might work for some people—but not for everyone. The problem isn’t the existence of these milestones; it’s the pressure to measure your worth against them.
When you compare your life to an external standard, you risk losing touch with your own desires, values, and intuition. You might even find yourself chasing goals that don’t resonate with who you are, simply because they’re what you think you’re “supposed” to do.
The Freedom to Choose
The beauty of life is its inherent freedom. While it may not always feel that way—due to responsibilities, circumstances, or societal pressures—you always have the ability to choose how you approach your life.
What does that mean in practical terms?
You Get to Define Success: Success might not mean climbing the corporate ladder or owning a house. It might mean living in alignment with your values, nurturing relationships, or exploring your passions.
You Get to Choose What Matters: What brings you joy, meaning, and fulfillment? Maybe it’s creating art, building a community, traveling the world, or simply finding peace in everyday moments.
You Get to Embrace Change: Life isn’t static, and neither are you. Your definition of what’s “right” for you can evolve as you grow and learn more about yourself.
The absence of a single “correct” way to live is not a limitation - it’s a gift. It means your life can be as unique and expansive as you are.
Letting Go of "Supposed To"
Letting go of the idea that you’re supposed to live a certain way isn’t always easy. It can bring up feelings of fear, uncertainty, or even guilt. But with time and intention, you can begin to break free from these constraints.
Here are some steps to help:
Examine the “Shoulds” in Your Life: Take an honest look at where you feel pressure to conform. Ask yourself: Who is this for? Do I truly value this, or am I following someone else’s script?
Reconnect with Your Inner Compass: Spend time reflecting on your values, passions, and desires. Journaling, mindfulness, or therapy can help you tune into what feels authentic to you.
Take Small Steps Toward Authenticity: You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Start by making small, intentional choices that align with your vision of a meaningful life.
Embrace Imperfection: Living authentically doesn’t mean getting it “right” all the time. It’s a journey of trial and error, learning, and growth. Be patient with yourself.
Give Yourself Permission: Remind yourself daily that you have the right to live life on your own terms. Affirmations like, “I am the author of my life,” can help you internalize this mindset.
Creating a Life That’s Truly Yours
When you stop worrying about whether you’re living life the way you’re “supposed to,” you open yourself to the possibility of living a life that feels genuinely fulfilling. A life that reflects your values, embraces your individuality, and honors your journey.
This doesn’t mean life will always be easy or that every decision will feel clear-cut. But it does mean that you’ll be living your life—not someone else’s version of it. And there’s no greater freedom or joy than that.
Your Journey, Your Rules
Every person’s life is a unique canvas, and you are the artist. The colors, strokes, and designs are entirely up to you. Some days might feel messy or incomplete, but that’s all part of the creative process.
So let go of the question, Am I living life the way I’m supposed to? Instead, ask yourself:
What feels right for me?
What kind of life do I want to create?
The answers are yours to discover, and the journey is yours to embrace.
If you’re feeling stuck or unsure about how to navigate this process, therapy can help. Together, we can explore your values, challenge limiting beliefs, and help you create a life that feels authentic and fulfilling. Reach out today to take the first step toward living on your own terms.
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